Fat is not a bad word

August 19, 2016

Fat is not a bad word

I have stomach flab that makes me look a few months pregnant and arms that look like a planet in itself. It refuses to leave me. Not that I have worked towards getting rid of them. I end up choosing ice cream every single time. But I can't stop cribbing. I put on outfit after outfit to find the least fattening one and just when I think I've managed to camouflage all the flabbiness, someone points out how fat I look. If only I could put all those hours spent coming up with the least fattening outfit to good use! May be I could've ruled the world but we will never know now. Sigh!

This is an ordeal most women go through I believe. A friend of mine once asked me, "Do you think he'd love me if I wasn't fat?" The other day I called some parts of my body 'problem areas' in a blog post. It didn't sound wrong until I re-read it. I had just called my body a problem without realizing it.

I know I am supposed to love my body despite its oddities and on some days, I think I do just like my friend who otherwise carries herself with the the kind of confidence I can only envy. When a sister, brother or friend comments that I look fat in a dress, I change knowing I should be able to wear what I want. .This reminds me of a line I read in Chimamanda's 'We should all be Feminists': "I am trying to unlearn many lessons of gender I internalized while growing up."

We are harsh on ourselves because we try to match the impossible beauty standards set by society consciously and subconsciously. In a moment of weakness, my friend related her self worth to how she looked while I let all those articles on dressing for your body type and how to look thinner get to me.

Loving your body the way it is is easier said than done. This may sound right out of a self-help book, but it's true. You look good if you feel good.

We have to make a conscious effort to accept the body we have and unlearn what society has taught us or laugh it off when someone calls us fat. Fat is just fat. It is a little extra weight. How bad could it be?

If you like what you see in the mirror, wear it. Comfort is what matters most. Thin or fat, if you aren't comfortable in what you're wearing, you will not be able to carry it off. If you are comfortable in shorts or a skirt or a crop top, wear it and if you're comfortable adding a cape over it, do it because you want to and not because of societal norms. Wear what you want, how you want it! It's your body. You get to decide.

I decided to write this post because I almost wrote a post calling my body a problem. I would never want anyone reading my blog to think that their body has a problem just because of that extra flab.. When we put out things on the internet for millions of people to read, we cannot do so recklessly. Your body is never a problem. We need to unlearn what pages in those glossies, relatives and society has told us and learn to love the way we look with or without the flab. Fat is not a bad word.

For all those who think that I am not fat enough to be writing this post, I'd like to tell you that we are all fighting our own insecurities. What could seem insignificant to you, could be a big deal to me.

I hadn't posted these pictures because I looked fat in them. So here I am trying to practice what I preach and de-cluttering my drafts yet again.